Элинка (elinka) wrote,

To Prevent More Wikileaks Incidents, U.S. Government Repeals First Amendment

Claiming that the First Amendment to the Constitution does more harm than good, the United States Congress met in secrets session yesterday calling for the Amendment’s repeal.

The House of Representatives voted 400 to 35 in favor of repealing most of the amendment but left in the part about freedom of religion.

“The religion part is cool”, said House Chairman John Conyers. “We just want to shut down the parts that give freedom of the press, freedom of speech. You know, that sort of thing.

The Senate later voted 92 to 7 in favor of repealing the amendment and President Obama is expected to signs it sometimes tomorrow afternoon.

Senate sources say that after the amendment has been repealed, special filtering software will be secretly installed on all computers to prevent Americans from having access to Wikileaks and other forms of secret government information. Newspapers and other organizations that report leaked information will be shut down and all employees of those organizations will be imprisoned. Satire writers will only be allowed to write funny stories about celebrity sex scandals. Also, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange and his associates will be assassinated.

“We are doing this to protect the lives of Americans”, said Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell.

Sources say the US Government has had a difficult time trying to keep the Wikileaks web site and it’s mirror sites down.

“Repealing the First amendment will make it so much easier to control the American people”, said President Obama indicating he will most likely sign the bill tomorrow.

Dear readers, read this now while you still have the chance!

from here
Tags: funny, humor, news, politics

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