A horn and a middle finger. Everything else is superfluous, including knowing where you are going.
For those of you who live in New York or have lived there, these things may come as no surprise.
For those who have not traveled there before, Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid.
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it I Newyork, not New-York. Also, Manhattan is not pronounced Manhattan , it is Manhatt-in
2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM.
Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on the Deegan is 85 mph. On the Belt Parkway it is 105 or 110.
Anything less is considered "Sissy."
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. New York has its own version of traffic rules.
For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second; However, in Staten Island and Queens, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It is another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of New York . Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, rats, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, and other road kill, and the homeless feeding on any of these items.
9. Map Quest does NOT work here. None of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they go. All the Bridge E-Z Pass lanes are moved each night to make your ride more exciting.
10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you will be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time. Leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon
Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
DRIVE SAFELY !!!