Элинка (elinka) wrote,
Элинка
elinka

Headlines from the Year 2020

from http://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=2583



* Statue of Liberty renamed "Statue of Government"

* Attorney-General Ayers rolls out "Adopt a Capitalist Pig" program, in which proletarian recipient of reparation payments can select donor

* Microsoft moves its last U.S. facility to Shanghai; CNN slams "the Bush economic legacy"

* President Murtha orders provisional withdrawal of U.S. troops from pacified sectors of Utah, Idaho, and Wyoming

* Vermont man beaten to death by angry mob for placing aluminum can in paper recycling bin

* New York Rangers goalie struck in mammary gland by flying puck; sues opposing male player for sexual harassment

* Vermont man beaten to death by angry mob for placing aluminum can in paper recycling bin

* Saudis unhappy with allotment of only 50 seats in Congress; threaten to pull plug on financing of Democrat Party

* Debate continues in Congress over national family income limit; Sen. Joe-the-Plumber (R-Ohio) argues that $20K may be too low

* Saudis unhappy with allotment of only 50 seats in Congress; threaten to pull plug on financing of Democrat Party

* New York Rangers goalie struck in mammary gland by flying puck; sues opposing male player for sexual harassment

* World Court nullifies U.S. Constitution's Fourteenth "Equal Protection" Amendment, alleging it conflicts with right of oppressed to seek compensation

* Obama memoirs added to reading list of Harvard's "Great Texts of Western Civilization" course

* Man eaten alive by work of art at Brooklyn Museum's "Living Animal Collage" exhibit

* Time Magazine's "Victim of the Year" award goes to a paraplegic pygmy lesbian retarded Muslim domestically-abused welfare mother with breast cancer and AIDS

* Proliferation of icebergs in northern Atlantic threatens shipping; Al Gore blames secret ice-making machine in basement of Fox News

* Greenpeace apologizes for death of 26 children after cute orphaned polar bears were released on Puget Sound

* Farmer in Scotland sentenced to five years in prison for insulting burglar's choice of firearm

* 300 American tourists rounded up and shot in Indonesia; Secretary of State Reid dispatched to Jakarta to engage in "constructive dialogue"

* Canadian Human Rights Commission rules that a f_ee pre_s is d_ngerous f_r the pe_ple

* Boston City Council mandates that geographic distribution of restaurants must be proportional to percentage of each ethnic group in population

* French President Mohammed Abu-Gauche deports Parisian gay pride protesters to San Francisco

* Another glass ceiling shattered: The transgendered Micronesian field marshal, Fudgadunga Flukaka, appointed secretary-general of the United Nations
Tags: funny, politics
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