Top 12 reasons why we like Chanukkah (Rated-G)


12. You can't be nailed to the menorah
11. More elephants in the Hanukkah story
10. No roof damage from reindeer
9. Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish loved ones
8. Dance of the Sugar-Plum Rebbe
7. Betting Hanukkah gelt on candle races
6. Yes, Rivka'le, there is no Santa Claus
5. Naked spin-the-dreidel games
4. Fun waxy buildup
3. No awkward explanations of virgin birth
2. Cheer optional
1. No Irving Berlin songs (or Mel Torme' either!)

Happy Chanukah. A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Chanukah stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The woman says, "Oh my God. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."

Путин – Фрадкову:
- Что-то геморрой у меня разыгрался – даже национальная идея в голову не
лезет. Слушай, Миша, поставь-ка ты мне свечку...
- Пожалуйста, Владимир Владимирович!
- Ой! Да где ты свечу-то такую достал?!
- Какую? Обычная ханукальная свеча из синагоги в Марьиной Роще...