?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo
@ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

Profile

splash
elinka
Элинка
Website

Latest Month

January 2019
S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com