Элинка (elinka) wrote,
Элинка
elinka

Из почты - Megilas Eliot - Mature Content

MEGILAS ELIOT

And it was in the days of Eliot, Governor of New York, he was Eliot who ruled
from Brooklyn to Buffalo, sixty three counties, and he found favor in the eyes
of all who voted for him. And he was elected by a landslide and his approval
rating soared.

One night, his sleep was troubled and he said to Queen Silda, “But all of this
means nothing to me when I see Bruno the Republican being driven around by State
Troopers and he doesn’t bow down or prostate himself before me.” And Silda
said, “Investigate and prosecute him, and hang him on a 50-foot gallows,” and it
was good in the eyes of Eliot.

And it was in the second month of the second year of Eliot’s reign, on the eve
of Valentine’s Day, that he traveled to the capital city of Washington to
testify before Congress and to party. And he called upon Hagai the Webmaster,
keeper of the women, President of the Emperors’ Club, and he ordered Hagai to
send to the royal chambers at the Mayfair the fairest maiden in the land. And
Hagai sent Kristen, also known as Ashley, also known as Alexandra, also known as
Dupree, and she found favor in Eliot’s eyes (and other places), and he gave her
up to one-half of his kingdom (or $4,300, whichever was less).

And when Queen Silda learned of the party to which she had not been invited,
she flew into a rage and declared, “An evil and treacherous man is this wicked
Eliot, who would deign to deface the Queen in the Mayfair House! McGreevey may
be a faigele, but at least he included his wife in the festivities!” And Eliot
was (well) hung on the gallows that he had prepared for Bruno, Hevesi, Greenberg
and countless other defendants.

And Shelly took the ring that had been given to Eliot and gave it to David, and
the anger of the people subsided.

Coming soon: Megilas David...
Tags: humor, news, politics, scandals
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